So I haven't been posting much lately (sans internet summer, here) or interacting much on the blogosphere at all (please forgive me?). But, something's been bothering me lately: I could've posted a least a few things if I wanted to. There are a sprinkling of posts I managed to write sporadically during a few rare moments of down time. Posting that material would've lessened the current drought of posts, at least.

But for some reason, I didn't. Post, I mean.

*steels self*

Do any of you guys ever get--post-fright?*

I'm sort of wallowing in it at the moment.

But seeing that it's gone on this long, it's getting sort of ridiculous. Now I have a bunch of posts stockpiling in my "drafts" folder, yet I can't seem to actually--y'know--post them.

Weird, huh?

I mean, this post is okay to publish because it's fluff and just me rambling, but the discussion posts I have typed up (a few reflections, rants, etc) are moldering. So are my reviews and all the other stuff I used to post.

The cause of post-fright isn't that I don't want to post, or even--despite the "fright" part of the term--because I'm afraid of my posts or of publishing them. Okay, maybe a little bit of the afraid-to-post factor is weighing in, even if I don't want to admit it.

But truly, I don't know what it is. I think it's maybe a combination of a bunch of stuff:

1. The posts I'm writing aren't measuring up to my own, personal standards:
a) I'll set off to write a post, and then it comes out quite differently than I originally intended, and then I figure I'll fix it sometime and eventually post, but don't.
b) The style of my posts. I was okay with letting a casual tone reign free (as in the post) and then trying to clean it up a bit for reviews & discussions. But now, I'm wondering what to stick with. I mean, I like that when I'm writing these posts it just feels like I'm having a conversation with you guys. (I totally write how I speak, haha), but I dunno--I feel like maybe I should be paying more attention to what I'm actually writing rather than just spewing it unedited into the nebulous tendrils of the internet.

2. I'm struggling with deciding what direction this blog is going to take, because--well, I haven't been reading much YA lately. A spattering of lovely YA books, but--I don't know, I feel almost claustrophobic when I get to my (poorly) stocked bookstore and just sort of falter in front of the YA section that I love so much and know and love--and then I end up not picking up anything. It's a strange predicament.

3. The thought that springs up occasionally: that this is my blog so I should just do whatever I feel at the moment and have fun. Yet the stuff I have in mind at the moment isn't post-material-stuff. More like put-everyone-to-sleep-stuff.


Anyhow, sorry for the ramble and then self-blogging analysis :)

But, have any of you had a similar problem of post-fright? (Please tell me I'm not the only one). How did you deal with it? What did you do?

Edit: Yikes,I had to struggle even to post this post. I think this is a very serious and advanced case of post-fright. (HELP ME!)

*seemed the best term for it.

P.P.S I'm sorry for dropping off the face of the earth
P.P.P.S Yes, I am still officially dropped off the face of the earth
P.P.P.P.S YES, I am reading. As a matter of fact, that stuff I'm reading is sort of mind-blowing and therefore life-changing--hey, maybe I should write a post about that---
P.P.P.P.P.S I'll write that post, promise.
P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Did I mention how much I love you guys?
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S I hope you're not finding these P.S's obnoxious*, tehe. (* I've always loved how there's a "noxious" in obNOXIOUS, like the P.S. or person or other subject is making you feel sick and queasy as well as being annoying.)
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. I really should stop. Hey, have you guys ever played bananagrams? It's only the best game, ever.
Stopping now.