hypothetical bookish situation #3: if books were used as perfume

So I'm marveling, with a tight ball of pride sprouting in my chest (no, not a tumor) at my bookcases gracing the wall. They're full of...books. Which is pretty amazing.

Except, I don't quite have book-smell permeating the room yet. The mustiness. The collective scent of hundreds of thousands pages imprinted with inky words. (I hope I don't sound like a sparkly book vampire when I'm talking about scent.)

But I want that smell--the one that hits you the moment you walk into a bookstore--in my room. And then I think...

What if the book-scent could be bottled up?
What if they sold book-scent as perfume? Car freshener? Shampoo?!

*le gasp*

INTRODUCING:

(two vair, vair cool products)

FRESHEN UP YOUR HOME, YOURSELF, AND YOUR CARPET!

A PERFECT GIFT FOR YOUR BOYFRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND OR MOTHER! (you know they need it.)


COMING SOON:

1) Breath mints (smell like books in under 20 seconds & seal the deal!)
2) Shampoo (say goodbye to dry hair with book-smell & coconut moisturizing action!)
3) Book-Smell Scratch-n-Sniff Stickers & Markers (now even young kids can have book-smell too!)
4) Book-Smell Candles (Perfect for air freshening and romantic dinners!)
5) AND MUCH, MUCH MORE!


And now I'm thinking: a world with these products would be pretty interesting.

IF BOOKS WERE USED AS PERFUMES/AIR FRESHENERS ETC:

• We wouldn't be able to tell who actually had books in their house and who didn't. Hence, it will be quite easy to fib about intellectual interest in reading and impress people of the other gender and future employers.
  
  
• Misbehaving teenagers would suddenly have an alibi--with one spray of acqua di book--voila! They weren't out at the mall with their friends, they were at the LIBRARY (*gasp*--studying)!


• We'd be bombarded by all sorts of commercials. It'd go something like:
  
  Ever wondered what it would be like to smell like books? Well, say GOODBYE to those boring smells invading your nostrils! *tosses fresheners labeled vanilla, jasmine, and apricot into handy trashcan*
  
  And say HELLO to a new, revolutionary scent. *holds up Super Book-Smell variety and smiles winningly*
  
  CALL 1800-BOOKSMELL NOW and get free shipping! (and we'll throw in a book carrier if you call within 5 minutes!).
  

• A new corporation, BOOK-SMELL INC, will emerge. And become very, very rich. On the plus side, since the corporation is centered around books, much of the charity and donations will go to literacy programs.

• The new book-smell craze will give rise to a essay-paper smell craze, and then perhaps a newspaper-smell craze. There will be nothing cooler than to smell like a combination of paper&ink.


• It wouldn't be such a sad moment for new car buyers when that new-car smell goes away. Now they will be able to gallivant around town with book-smell permeating all surfaces of their car!
  


• I'd be one very, very happy person.
  

Well, that's it for the crazy ramblings!

Unless you want to check out earlier proof of my insanity posts:

If books were made of chocolate

If dogs could read